You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
