that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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