you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
