i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
