he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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