The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Come share oat with me in your robe
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
