I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize