It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize