Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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