You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
