A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
