the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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