why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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