I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
