I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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