we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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