Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
