Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Well I just put wine in my tea
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
