yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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