Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
