Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
