Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
