he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
