OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
