I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
