So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
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Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
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Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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