the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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