chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
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