i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Damn victory sex feels great
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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