Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
