why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
they need to just BURY HIM!
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I know her cup size but not her name....
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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