Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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