we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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