how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize
