If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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