I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
