didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
