What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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