I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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