I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
