I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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