I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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