and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
