He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
We are all done wearing pants today
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
