broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
