I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
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make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
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I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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