shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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