so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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