she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
