I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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