She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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