He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Dicks are not precious.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
