I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
