'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
