just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
