do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Randomize
