McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
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