He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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