big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
