I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We need a shit load of segways right now
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
