How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
