The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
time to smoke my breakfast
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
