Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
