i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Dick very happy bro
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
