I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
