It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
