I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
